And…it’s been three months since my last post – normally I’d wonder where all this time went, only I know quite well where and since that’s a place I have moved on from, what better way to celebrate than with some writing here?
Those three months were basically full of two things: work and worry. Not a good combination, I should point out. How can you work when you worry all the time? Ok, you can, but maybe the outcome isn’t what you were hoping for – at least it wasn’t in my case. Through my superficial reflection it seemed that taking up many responsibilities was the problem, but the truth is: if you naturally worry too much about things it certainly affects your balance, no matter if you are doing one thing or ten – which sounds perfectly logical now that I have written it here, but took me a useless right hand, (too) long hours of sulking and deep reflection to realize.
Not all was bad of course.
*Reminding and convincing myself to use the left hand was fun, not to mention what a breakthrough it felt like to actually manage it. My biggest issue with that no-good right hand was that it affected my expression -as I talk with my hands too, at times it seemed I just wasn’t getting through to anyone. I couldn’t write either, so I spent many hours hating that right hand; but it also led me to the smoking-free zone, and I remain there.
*Kids. And teaching. When your doctor has scared you so much that tomorrow seems, if nothing else, horrible and improbable, all you’ve got is now really. Spend ‘now’ productively and keep trying to make a difference in one or a million lives. Unsurprisingly, your learners are there for you and the only way is forward.
(/end of empowering message/)
*Goodness in the background; and by that I mean all the wonderful people who still went ahead with me in mind, so now that I’m the right place, in more or less all aspects, there are great things for me to do. In most cases, I didn’t even say a word – thank you Universe of Thoughtful People.
Standing too long in the gap might be frustrating, but sometimes it is necessary; so is silence and being mindful, towards yourself and everyone.
This is not a revelations post, no.
It’s a reaffirming, getting back to where you should be post. And I used both hands to write it.
(PS: interesting search results while looking for an appropriate image – gaps of all sorts are apparently a much debated topic online.)