Tiptoes in the System #TimeParadox

”Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” – William Penn

Human Clock - Original artwork by HandMade Theatre

Human Clock – Original artwork by HandMade Theatre

This will be a short post, as time is limited. Freelancers become in this time paradox. There is time for everything and no time altogether.

How many things can we fit into each day? Working, teaching and learning. Listening, noticing and creating. Walking, commuting and waiting. Breathing, eating and drinking. Wondering whether we’ve done all we had to do. Making someone happy. Making someone mad. Thinking and reminiscing. Living. Evolving.

Our only constant is perpetual motion, and this ongoing back-and-forth gives us an edge over the paradox: we can make life happen. Perhaps not a great life, but a life up to our standards. We can do it alone. We can invite others to join us. Some may join uninvited (and I love them most).

Let more grains fall on the chessboard. Wait for the proper-sized pebble to ripple the lake. It will happen, because those things just do. Use time and do it all.

(and Complexity will be hitting this blog soon)

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Self Q&A #LateReflection

There are a couple of things I’m sometimes seriously, almost physically, afraid of; feeling inadequate, not delivering what’s been requested, not achieving That goal, not knowing how to deal with That particular behavior…the perfectionist keeps screaming in my head. I have had a big share of that over this summer and though I got reminders (mainly external) that I just need to go easy on myself from time to time, it was the finality of loss that woke me to another truth: life happens now. I won’t discuss fairness, as that depends on the systems we survive in – yes, fair should be one and only for all, but it isn’t. Tough.
I won’t discuss grief either, since we all have different ways of dealing with it and learning from it. And each of them is perfectly correct and fine.

My mind works in questions, so the inevitable sequence of ‘what happened? – are you ok with it? – how can you use it?” just sprang out. I would really like to say that I know the reason why things happen and save myself and everyone the trouble, but I don’t know. And that got me thinking; am I supposed to know? Probably not. Or not yet. In my mind, we are here to do three things: discover, create and share. We can do all three simultaneously, too. That is my current short term plan.

As September was coming to its end, a new set of boxes formed in my mind (I’ve stopped numbering those, completely pointless after years of thinking). Actually, they were more like drawers this time.

What happened? You’ve lost someone dear to you. Not unexpectedly, yet loss is always a hand that dives into your chest and clenches your breath. Then releases and clenches again every time you are reminded of the moment and the connection.

Are you ok with it? Ultimately, yes. Everyone, everywhere loses someone or something daily. No matter how sorrowful each minute feels, it is hard to dismiss that you are still here. Instead of standing in grief, move forward in light.

How can you use it? The idea of hiding. Do you really believe it possible? Whether fortunate or unfortunate, superbly telltale eyes and persistent jittery fingers don’t leave you many options. You know this, you’ve been here before. Not to mention how it throws right out your efforts to build trust.
We can’t be happy all the time, but we still think, work and produce. And when your goal is to impart a bit of knowledge, is there anything better than sharing this truth? Is there anyone better other than your partners in learning to share it with?

Accept and share. It looked like this:

 

Drawing on a recent comment on this blog, I remain stubbornly positive. Here’s to you, my dear learners.